Presentationing and Vacaytioning

I was on vacation (ish) this past week in sunny humid Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.  My purpose in going was to present a paper I'd written at a technical conference.  But my advisor graciously allowed me a few extra days before and after the conference.  So as a result I was both insanely busy with the conference and being scared out of my mind for my presentation, and also loving the very essence of life because I could walk with no shoes along the beach for hours on end.

First I'll get work out of the way.  I mentioned earlier that I've given presentations before, but this one had me really nervous.  The reason for this comes all the way down to the field I'm in.  This field is really only 40-50 years old.  This kind of seems like a lot but when you look at it in terms of technical conferences, it means that the same people who started the field, the ones who invented the concepts I'm researching, are all still attending these meetings.  So I'm presenting my research with my one year of grad school to back me up, to people who invented the field.  I admit it.  I was intimidated.  There were two days of conference before my presentation and while I didn't go to much of the conference (I was glued to my computer and power point) I did get to know people better, and they became more people like rather than the pedestal-sitting entities I had made them out to be in my head.  So that made me less nervous.  And I also got more familiar with my presentation and realized that what I'd heard really was true; "No one knows more about my research than I do."  I also get much more comfortable after I start talking.  So while the beginning of my talk was a little rocky (my dad said I was "tense", I'm hoping he's the only one who noticed), it got much better towards the end.  I was actually really proud of myself because every time I practiced I was only about 16-17 minutes long (I was supposed to take 20 mins), but when I gave it, and I got more comfortable, and started pointing more things out, I was within 20 seconds of the time.  Small successes!!  So it went well.  The questions I got I could answer them all and I think they'll help me with my future research.

Now the fun part (and also the reason I haven't been able to bring myself to put on real shoes since I've gotten home)!  The first day we were there my prof took us kayaking up this river.  He does this every year because if you go at the right time, low tide, you get to see the dolphins that come up river to eat fish.  And also a plethora of birds.  Here are some of the highlights of that fun trip :).

This cute little buddy was not so sure about us...

One of the two dolphins we saw.  So dang cool.

And then my personal favorite and what made the ENTIRE trip for me:

I adore otters and this one was SO cute.  Right before this pic he was eating the oysters out of the oyster bed there.  I wanted to die he was so cute.

During the week we also spent massive amounts of time on the beach, and in the sun.  And one morning we even got up early enough to go sit on the beach and watch the sun rise.  It was fantastic even though it was 6 in the morning (basically that whole week I didn't get more than 6 hours of sleep a night and averaged about 4..).  Just beautiful though.

This was the beginnings... about half an hour after we got to the beach.  It was cloudy so 'official' sunrise wasn't when we actually saw the sun.

And then it fully up, and what made me want to live on the beach.  I realized I could walk on the beach for hours and not get bored.  I don't really ever go in the water (we were night swimming and something large definitely grazed up upper thigh......) but just walking in the sand right where the waves barely reach is pretty much heaven.

And the last fun thing we did was parasailing.  It's so peaceful I love it (have to say it was better in Mexico though because the water there was clear).

Such fun such fun.

Frozen in the Face of Terror

This might sound weird but I don't get nervous speaking in front of people.  I've given a ton of presentations.  I've taught classes, I've given presentation to high school students trying to get them to like engineering, and I've talked so much about engineering to my professors I get bored thinking about it.  I've even presented engineering work to non-engineers.  All those times I get a little nervous right before but that's it.  Well not this time.  I'm talking at a conference next week and preparing the presentation right now.  I wasn't nervous until I made the presentation.  Now I'm absolutely petrified.  I have to practice the presentation tomorrow in front of my professor and truly that is what scaring me the most.  I don't know why but make a fool of myself in front of this person is more terrifying than presenting in front of professional engineers.  But then again I haven't gotten to that part yet :).  Right now I'm just paralyzed.  Ugh.  Fear.  It's a terrible emotion.

Looking for a Job?!

Wanted:  A graduate student.

Do you like to do puzzles?  Do you like to work in buildings and labs with no windows?  Do you find great satisfaction from meaningless and trivial daily victories?  Then do I have the job for you!!

Benefits:   If you stick with it long enough you may come out with a degree, although you must also do a post doc after achieving said degree to have any hope of a job and even then a job is not assured.  You get the privilege of continuing to take classes at a much higher level with professors who are either fantastic or drastically condescending.  You get an added realization of the true benefit and value of sleep, your home, the time it takes to do laundry, and seeing your family infrequently.

Don't get me wrong.  I do actually like my job.  And I'm excited to be getting a PhD.  But some days, I have days where I agree wholeheartedly with my dad.  He tells me that some days serve only to help me understand the act of drinking large amounts of hard alcohol.

It's Happening

I think I've begun to embrace my inner nerd.  As of today I finally bit down whatever pride I had and attached my jump drive* to my keys.  This is an extremely common practice among nerds engineers because as we're going about our day doing engineer-y things like taking SEM pictures, copying someone's homework, lab testing, etc. you really just don't know when you need to bust out your jump drive!  You'll need immediately to transfer data from computer to computer, home to work, or from random data taking device to your laptop.

I really did resist.  Six whole years of being an engineer and I resisted.  One because I really hate things being on my keys (I think I've mentioned this before).  But more importantly, having a jump drive on your keys instantly labels you as a nerd.  No escaping it.  The evidence is right there, in your hand or on your person at all times.  But by golly** it's so convenient!  Let's go take some data and then move it!

*(Most people I know call this a flash drive but that's in reference to the type of memory it is and I just can't sink that low yet)
**(I'm sorry.  "By Golly" is really lame.  I know this.  But it's Easter and I feel that I can't go anywhere near swearing on Easter)

Ah good times

Here's a couple of reasons I like being an engineer. Because I like to listen to their insane conversations. Granted I have had weird engineering discussions, just ask my friends or my sister even. But these two just made me laugh today.

*Number one. Walk past this kid as he proclaims the he doesn't have to pay for water in his apartment. Awesome! So he's considering putting a waterwheel in his bathtub. Sadly, this is the only part of the conversation that I heard. Haha so it is pure conjecture that his waterwheel is actually for electrical generation. Haha Oh man I would love to see it though.

*Number two. Kids I am fairly sure were freshmen were discussing how long it would take them to get to their dorm. Valid question. Then they proceed to say that how long it will take will depend on only the length of your stride. Then they were both trying to *totally naturally* figure out how long their stride was. They came up with some number and then were completely stumped as to why they couldn't get it. It was HIlarious. ***Insert my own engineeringism that I can't not put in*** You can't figure it out without the rate at which you're taking strides, no matter what the stride length is....Ha better luck next time boys.

This is why I love it. And whenever I talk randomly start laughing because I realize people could be listening to me too.

Best Things of Today

Today was the first day of my classes. Which means that there were all kinds of new things going on! And since I love to people watch it also gave me excellent opportunities to do that. Like the undergrads who are blissfully unaware of the horror and discouragement that will come upon them if they realize that a bachelor's degree isn't where they want to stop....oh wait, that's me who heard how brutally hard everything is going to be. Yet again. But good things is why we're here right now :).

*First I love having a standard. So when I'm driving home from target and am super tired and just want to be home, I can rev my engine to 5000 rpms before shifting gears and just feel the wonderful sensation of going fast and shifting my own car.

*Second I love getting to class on time which translates into being 15 minutes early because of some phenomena called "Michigan Time", and on the way listening to poor little freshmen who don't know about it freak out because they can't run to class because they'll look like weirdos but they're going to be late! And Michigan time is weird. It's totally against all I've been taught to think that things really start 15 minutes after they say, except there are a lot of exceptions that you need to keep track of!

*And last my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE thing of the day happened while sitting outside my first class waiting for the previous class to end to go in. This kid was talking to another grad student and he asked her if we have lockers. Hahahahahahahahahaha I was so hard pressed to not burst out laughing. The poor kid was serious! Granted I have not been to every college, but I don't know of ANY that has lockers. Not one. Ha I laugh just thinking about it. That kid has an even longer way to go than I do.

And so ends my day.

EXCITEMENT

With a capital X!!! Well capital everything. I'm that excited. And once I explain you'll think I'm nerdy to get this excited, but whatev I am. So here's the deal, my life plan if you will. I am in school now to get my Ph.D. *insert short divertion here* Today I officially became a graduate student. What I was before this point in time, I have no idea, so we'll skip that part. But today. Today was orientation, and while the information contained was completely useless to one who has been her for two months, I got a free honey baked ham sandwich out of the deal. The result however is the same, I am now a grad student. I am now free to make fun of undergrads! Now, back to the part about my life plan. After getting my Ph.D. I would really love to become a teacher. That's my goal and I've sort of set things up to make that happen. I went to a school that puts out a lot of teachers, and I told my former teachers at ASU that it was their job to give me a job when I graduated. We'll see how that last part works out. But because of that I have also planned many fun things to help me be a teacher, such as classes on teaching. Now to the EXCITING part. Yesterday I was called by my professor asking to meet with me urgently. So, fearing for my life, I went to his office where he told me that I was going to be considered for a fellowship if I wanted. Today I was told by the director of the fellowship program that it was almost guaranteed that I got the fellowship. This fellowship is called the GAANN (graduate assistance in areas of national need) and is from the Department of Education. So it is only for Ph.D. students who plan on becoming faculty members (Me!). Here are the requirements of the award:
*I have to get good grades and progress towards graduation (great, great plan, already on my list of things to do)
*I have to take ENGR 580 - Teaching Engineering (already listed on my plan of study as a class I wanted to take, listed 6 weeks ago actually)
*Be a Graduate Student Instructor (awesome, I'd actually get to teach and wanted to do this)
*Take teaching workshops at least once a semester (didn't know these existed but awesome!)
*Create a teaching portfolio (would have needed to do this for any job application anyway...so now it will just be better because I'll have help.)

So basically, I get a really prestigious award that I can put on my resume proving that I wanted to be a teacher long before I graduated and had little other options. I get to not only do the things I was planning to do, they are now mandatory and will be facilitated greatly because of it. And I get help achieving those things. Honestly I couldn't have worked this out more perfectly if I had tried and I'm really so excited! Plus I get to save my prof a year's worth of money which puts me in his good graces at least for a little while :)! So there we go, haha I'm excited because my life plan is actually working out really well so far. I knew there was a reason I loved it here!


***UPDATE: two seconds after posting this I checked my email and there was the official letter saying I have been awarded this fellowship!***

First day of Kindergarten

My amazing friend Kara warned me that coming to grad school would be discouraging, that I wouldn't know anything and everyone here was smarter than me. Ha boy, I was hoping I wouldn't have to learn this lesson the first day but I did. Well not really but I did get amazingly overloaded with information. I was kind of already overloaded moving in and unpacking and making decisions about how my furniture would go, and trying to figure out what direction is which in a town with no landmarks. And trust me, that's hard. But I'm getting better and better everyday. So today was my first day. I met with my advisor and then with the post doc that I would be working with. I got my new id card and I got a TON of information about what (I think) I'm going to be researching. It was totally overwhelming though because I don't have an office, I don't have a computer, and I don't know what I need to be doing right now. I kind of felt today like I needed to know what I was doing and start doing it, be self-motivated. It was just way to much information to process in such a short amount of time. But after I got home, I was able to talk to Ab, who just listened to me complain. And I got to talk to my dad who said the only thing that I should be able to do on the first day on my own was find the bathroom. Haha I need to ask questions and not be afraid of anything like that or that I don't know what I'm doing right now (this statement is just as much a statement as it is a mantra I have been telling myself all night)

On the upside I am still super excited to be starting this new thing and I'm excited about the research I'll be doing. And I have all these awesome people in my head who know what they're talking about and ones who are completely outside the situation and can give me an objective opinion on things! So for a first day it was a true first day - fun and new but whoa! Ha pretty sure it will get better though.