We all have issues.......right?

Today's philisophical topic -- emotional health. Every one has issues with self esteem and the fact that we make mistakes... But how do we keep those moments of self doubt from completely taking over our image of ourselves and those moments become days and years of not realizing how truly amazing you are. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she was telling me that she really wasn't happy with herself and she didn't know what to do about it. I tried so hard to try and say things to make her feel better, to help her know that she is amazing, I know she is. I even shared stories about myself when I didn't feel good about myself to try and tell her that you can get over it or it happens to every one but I think that just made it worse and made me look so incredibly bad. So incredibly bad. We will however forget about that and move on to my theory about the entire thing.

**Disclaimer: I am so not the poster child for good self esteem, BUT I have made tons of progress in the whole being happy with myself area. And this is just my personal opinion on approving of yourself.**

So here is my thing. There are always 'big' things that we take and run with that make us doubt ourselves. Here is my rememdy for that. Try and appreciate the little things. I think you should take the little compliments that people tell you, maybe just even in passing, and log them away for those times when you're sad. Those times when someone totally random tells you that you look cute that day, or even better, someone you totally adore tells you that you're gorgeous. Just remember all those little moments and how awesome they made you feel. Times like those make you feel, even for just a second, like 'hey, I'm a little bit awesome.' Haha remember those moments and most of all believe people when they say things like that. I know that some days are just not good self image days, I understand that, but those feelings aren't reflected in how you look to other people. Although if you feel awesome, or even a little bit good about yourself, it shows.

Other than that, I have no idea how to feel good about yourself. I suppose finding something that you truly love about yourself, and love it even more. Also find something that you absolutely love to do...no matter what other people think about you...and do it. It makes you happy and you should always do it. (Unless it is illegal, immoral....all the usual stuff :) But I really don't know if those things would even help other people....how can I help when this has to come from inside? I just don't know...

I don't want to step on anyone's beliefs here....

Well...here we go.

HAHAHAHA I L.O.V.E. Brian Regan and I'm so glad that he has come out with a new DVD. His piece on Saturday was priceless! The part I just quoted was when he's bashing (quite well) on psychics who 'talk with the dead'. It was awesome.

Second favorite part: when he's discussing Pluto's planet status and some guy from the crowd just yells "The big yellow one is the Sun!!" Haha it was awesome because he goes, thanks for that, we're doing a tv special right now haha. I can't wait to watch it again.

In other news: Football is back!! And I'm going to get my trashed kicked by my loving father. Ha, my fantasy team is maybe phenomenal but this week it wasn't arranged correctly, as evidenced by the fact that my bench has more points that my team and I didn't even score that low. But I'll do better next week. In the mean time my dad is going to have a one up on me. Unless of course Adrian Peterson scores some major touchdowns tomorrow night, which we all know is possible! I'm also glad that Brett Favre won on his first game as a Jet after the Packers let him go thinking him outdated. I love the guy, he carried my fantasy team last year and I love it. All I can say I hope this season is good (Tom Brady isn't too hurt so he can trash everyone else...) and my team doesn't go from fantasy to fantnasty!!

You are what you eat....or whatever.

So here's a confession. And I don't make these very often, haha. Costco sells these four cheese tortellini, in huge packages right because it's Costco. Well it comes in two parts and I think there is 6 servings in one part. Great for the whole family I promise. Well I can eat an entire package all by myself. I love these dang things. I could eat them all day and I don't get full of them. So that's my fat girl confession haha I can eat tortellini ALL THE LIVELONG DAY.

I'm sitting here with my niece this morning, watching Oy Ory. It's fascinating. I love babysitting because I get to watch cartoons and movies with her all the time. I forgot how funny this movie was.. Watching Buzz Lightyear drive the car is genuinely awesome. And I love how the characters all personify the actors that are giving them voices. You can totally tell Tom Hanks' personality and Tim Allen is flippin hilarious. And there are good one liners but I can never really remember those afterward...haha I have a bad memory for things like this because I get distracted by everything else that is going on.

Speaking of one-liners, Saturday is the day! Brian Regan comes out with a new DVD and act and I can't wait to see it!! I was talking to my friend Kara about it yesterday and we submit that it cannot get any better than this! We were also talking about her class about the US Presidency and how the election is going to factor ito her teaching. I wish that I could be in her class so that I could talk about it with her and the kids in her class. This one is shaping up to be really interesting! Not going to get into it right now though...haha I don't have enough info for my comfort level. But I will by the time I go home for my dad's birthday haha so that I can talk to him about it.

Well I guess that's enough topics for one post...I have to go back to school now. YAY!! Haha

Also...

I would like to submit that water polo has to be THE most difficult sport ever. I would drown...

Costco Excitement

Yesterday after I said good-bye to my best friend in the world I went with my mom to Costco. I love going to Costco. I looked at the books and movies but restrained myself from buying any...haha. But what I really went there to buy was a new backpack. I get bored with my backpacks and as a result get a new one at least every year sometimes more often. The only exception was the backpack I had for two whole school years. It was white courderoy may it rest in peace because the last week of school last year it broke and all my stuff fell out. So even more reason to not keep a backpack that long and feed my school supply addiction. But this new backpack is sooo pretty, it's brown plaid and sturdy and has a lot of pockets. It's a dream. I scoped it out 4 or 5 times at costco before I actually bought it. It was a long process but I'm happy with my $15 purchase. Big spender I know.

The other thing I bought that makes me even more happy is a 'teach yourself Italian' computer program. I decided to do this because I don't have time to take a 4 credit class that would teach me Italian, or the French I'm going to add to it. So I got myself a program and I'm taking my destiny into my own hands. I decided to do Italian first because I'm going to Italy next year after I graduate. Of course if you ask my father he will deny this saying that I have to actually graduate first. He's just in denial. It's statistically almost impossible for me to not graduate so...I'm going to Italy next year. So learning a little bit of Italian I thought would be valuable. I'm not going to know enough to really talk to people but maybe I can know enough to understand and maybe help myself out a little bit. Ha actually just last night I was talking about this to my dad and he pulled a scenario that would make me not graduate: my boyfriend could get me hooked on drugs and I wouldn't care about school. Haha possible I said but highly improbably. The boyfriend part or the drug part he asked?? Haha both. But bottom line, I'm learning Italian and that makes me happy. Then maybe next year I'll buy the French program and teach myself some French.

Day Dreamin

So this is just going to be a quick note but I'm a little confused. So I've been having some weird dreams lately. I mean they're amazing dreams, the kind you love everything about so you don't want them to stop, but they're just strange. I hadn't been thinking about the situations, although I guess they are always in the back of my mind, and they just caught me really off guard that I was having them. It's crazy both dreams I had, I had in the state of mind where you know you're dreaming and you can objectively think about the dream at the same time you're having them, so I got to analyze my dreams while I was having them and not wanting them to end. But I just don't know what they meant, if anything at all. Is this just wish fulfillment? Like a true dream this is just what I would love to happen if my dreams came true, or just a random neuron firing taking over my imagination...? I just don't know. Haha I hope that I'm psychic and this means that this will be my future. Haha but probably not.... But dreams have been on my mind none the less.

A Word

First a word about me. I love reading, especially during the summer because I can't concentrate on it during school. I was trying to remember all the books I've read since school ended and my count is up to 10...not including the books I can't remember (obviously) and the ones I'm currently reading. Unfortunately I've bought about 10 more books that are on my list to read. So along this line I just finished reading Eat Pray Love, which is my new favorite book. It's about a year in a woman's life so of course there are things that I didn't agree with but overall it is an incredibly enlightening book about all three of those things. But what I'm interested in at the moment is in the Eat section which takes place in Italy.

Side note: also after reading this book I am SOOO excited to go to Italy next summer I can hardly stand it and I'm going to also teach myself Italian.

But back to the point. While in Italy Liz (the writer) is talking to a man from Italy and he's telling her that each city has a word. One word that completely and totally descibes the city. Rome's word is Sex, Naples' word if Fight. Then he asks Liz, what is her word? This got me thinking, what is my word? One word that describes what I'm about and all I strive to do... Honestly I had no blinking clue as to anything that could completely describe me. How can one small word tell you anything about me? I understand how it can tell you one part of me but I kind of feel like I would be extremely boring if just one word could tell you all you need to know about me. I like to think I'm more multi-faceted than that. But then maybe I could pick a really fantastic word with a TON of letters so it says more.... Really I was just thinking all these weird thoughts because I had no idea what kind of word I would even start to pick for myself.

So after much thought and tribulation and conversation, I've come up with two options for my word. Well my word for right now in my life that I think is good enough to describe me! One of my choices is Learn. I love to learn anything about everything and anything and it's always been my ambition to learn something about absolutely everything. My second choice is Devour. And here's why; I have recently been discussing my reading with my Lauren. I said that the rate at which I devour different genre-d books actually kind of amazes me. But then I started thinking about the word devour, and not in a creepy way either, just in a verb kind of a way. I have this thing where when I'm terrified of something I just have to do it anyway, but the way in which I go about doing those things, or even anything else is sort of devouring them. I try to get through them, take all I can from them, and then move on to something new.

So those are the two things I think I boil down too. I myself and leaning towards Devour but I don't know. Maybe it will constantly be changing but I don't know if that's a good thing or not! Maybe you can tell me.