Presentationing and Vacaytioning

I was on vacation (ish) this past week in sunny humid Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.  My purpose in going was to present a paper I'd written at a technical conference.  But my advisor graciously allowed me a few extra days before and after the conference.  So as a result I was both insanely busy with the conference and being scared out of my mind for my presentation, and also loving the very essence of life because I could walk with no shoes along the beach for hours on end.

First I'll get work out of the way.  I mentioned earlier that I've given presentations before, but this one had me really nervous.  The reason for this comes all the way down to the field I'm in.  This field is really only 40-50 years old.  This kind of seems like a lot but when you look at it in terms of technical conferences, it means that the same people who started the field, the ones who invented the concepts I'm researching, are all still attending these meetings.  So I'm presenting my research with my one year of grad school to back me up, to people who invented the field.  I admit it.  I was intimidated.  There were two days of conference before my presentation and while I didn't go to much of the conference (I was glued to my computer and power point) I did get to know people better, and they became more people like rather than the pedestal-sitting entities I had made them out to be in my head.  So that made me less nervous.  And I also got more familiar with my presentation and realized that what I'd heard really was true; "No one knows more about my research than I do."  I also get much more comfortable after I start talking.  So while the beginning of my talk was a little rocky (my dad said I was "tense", I'm hoping he's the only one who noticed), it got much better towards the end.  I was actually really proud of myself because every time I practiced I was only about 16-17 minutes long (I was supposed to take 20 mins), but when I gave it, and I got more comfortable, and started pointing more things out, I was within 20 seconds of the time.  Small successes!!  So it went well.  The questions I got I could answer them all and I think they'll help me with my future research.

Now the fun part (and also the reason I haven't been able to bring myself to put on real shoes since I've gotten home)!  The first day we were there my prof took us kayaking up this river.  He does this every year because if you go at the right time, low tide, you get to see the dolphins that come up river to eat fish.  And also a plethora of birds.  Here are some of the highlights of that fun trip :).

This cute little buddy was not so sure about us...

One of the two dolphins we saw.  So dang cool.

And then my personal favorite and what made the ENTIRE trip for me:

I adore otters and this one was SO cute.  Right before this pic he was eating the oysters out of the oyster bed there.  I wanted to die he was so cute.

During the week we also spent massive amounts of time on the beach, and in the sun.  And one morning we even got up early enough to go sit on the beach and watch the sun rise.  It was fantastic even though it was 6 in the morning (basically that whole week I didn't get more than 6 hours of sleep a night and averaged about 4..).  Just beautiful though.

This was the beginnings... about half an hour after we got to the beach.  It was cloudy so 'official' sunrise wasn't when we actually saw the sun.

And then it fully up, and what made me want to live on the beach.  I realized I could walk on the beach for hours and not get bored.  I don't really ever go in the water (we were night swimming and something large definitely grazed up upper thigh......) but just walking in the sand right where the waves barely reach is pretty much heaven.

And the last fun thing we did was parasailing.  It's so peaceful I love it (have to say it was better in Mexico though because the water there was clear).

Such fun such fun.

Flown the Coop

I was out of town this past week (more on that to come).  But just as I anticipated the little ducks were born while I was out....  7 little duckies were born and are now out following their momma around somewhere.  I unfortunately haven't seen the little ones but I can just imagine that they're adorable.  All I have is the picture of what's left.

One little egg that didn't hatch and some broken shells.  I don't know what to think about the last egg.  I know that this happens sometimes but it still makes me sad.  I also can't help wondering if some sort of other animal will come and take it....  what else is going to happen to it?

Desiderata

My awesome sister did something for me when I came to grad school hell heaven.  When I first came I was really lonely and absolutely hated being in my office.  So she put together bunches of pictures of my fam, some "fail" things because they make me laugh, and quotes that are both inspirational or funny, or break my heart because my niece said them and I can hear her little voice in my head saying them.  She also sent bunches of tacks so I could hang them on my walls.  So now when I'm in my office I'm surrounded by love and family and laughing.  One of the things she sent me is something I had seen before, I guess you'd call it a poem, but it's called Desiderata.  I'm going to repeat it here just for my own benefit because I love it so much and it never fails to inspire me.  The man who wrote it said in his diary that, "I should like, if I could, to leave a humble gift -- a bit of chaste prose that had caught up some noble moods.".  I think he succeeded.

(I've added the emphasis my sister added for me : )

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,

for the world is full of trickery.

Bul let this not blind you to what virtuie there is;

many persons strive for high edeals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.  Especially do no feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubth the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

kepp peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.  Strive to be happy.

Frozen in the Face of Terror

This might sound weird but I don't get nervous speaking in front of people.  I've given a ton of presentations.  I've taught classes, I've given presentation to high school students trying to get them to like engineering, and I've talked so much about engineering to my professors I get bored thinking about it.  I've even presented engineering work to non-engineers.  All those times I get a little nervous right before but that's it.  Well not this time.  I'm talking at a conference next week and preparing the presentation right now.  I wasn't nervous until I made the presentation.  Now I'm absolutely petrified.  I have to practice the presentation tomorrow in front of my professor and truly that is what scaring me the most.  I don't know why but make a fool of myself in front of this person is more terrifying than presenting in front of professional engineers.  But then again I haven't gotten to that part yet :).  Right now I'm just paralyzed.  Ugh.  Fear.  It's a terrible emotion.

Some Passing Randomness

I've had some thoughts lately and none of them are really long enough to make their own whatever so they'll just all be jumbled into one collage of fun.

I was watching Friday Night Lights last week I think and the daughter on the show told her mom that she didn't know why they went to church.  Her mom got really worried and talked to her about why she felt church was important.  She said that she thought church was important because it will be "something that can hold you, when I'm not able to hold you anymore."  I thought this was the coolest thought about religion, or really anything that holds you.  We all need those things that we can hold us back when we have to grow up.  Especially when we don't want to grow up.

Less serious thought:  I love the spring.  Honestly I really do.  But I also pretty much hate it because all these bugs and their bug friends come out.  I may have told this story before when I was small my dad would always kill spiders for me.  And before he would kill them he would take a close look at them and say "Oh! it's a jumping spider!"  In my little head I would always think "Oh man, I wonder how he knows which spiders jump?!"  It took me a legit 21 years to figure out that he said that about every spider and then call him on it.  He laughed at me.  I'm pretty sure he worried about my sanity.  But anyway, here in lovely AA, there are actually spiders that jump.  They legit jump.  Well this morning I woke up, looked at the wall above my head and there sat a spider.  Hate that.  Then later in the morning I'm chilling on my couch and a flipping WASP flies by.  Not good.  It almost makes me miss Arizona where it's too dang hot for bugs to inhabit.

I've been having shopping problems lately.  I can't seem to stop myself.  Yet everything I've bought is of course absolutely fabulous.  I got some brilliant shoes that are somewhat like the Louboutin fabulousity that I actually want.  I got lots of sweet shirts and a fantastic straightener, and a present for my friend.  I need to stop.... but all I can think about is going to the mall.  I'm usually not like this!

That's all I've got.  I'm rambly today if you can't tell....

Final Count!

Yesterday I came home and Betty had been scared away from her nest so I finally got to get a picture of her nest.  Usually when she leaves she covers up the eggs so I can't see them but since she was scared I could sneak a quick pic.

I could see ten eggs.  There could be more somewhat hidden but all I could see was ten.  I would post a pic of Betty but it would be exactly the same as the last one I posted.  She sits on the nest for about 23 hours a day as far as I can tell.  There have been some insane rain storms and she diligently sits there.  I admire her stamina honestly.  She still watches me somewhat distrustingly but she'll listen while I talk to her and I believe she's convinced I'm not going to hurt her now.

Looking for a Job?!

Wanted:  A graduate student.

Do you like to do puzzles?  Do you like to work in buildings and labs with no windows?  Do you find great satisfaction from meaningless and trivial daily victories?  Then do I have the job for you!!

Benefits:   If you stick with it long enough you may come out with a degree, although you must also do a post doc after achieving said degree to have any hope of a job and even then a job is not assured.  You get the privilege of continuing to take classes at a much higher level with professors who are either fantastic or drastically condescending.  You get an added realization of the true benefit and value of sleep, your home, the time it takes to do laundry, and seeing your family infrequently.

Don't get me wrong.  I do actually like my job.  And I'm excited to be getting a PhD.  But some days, I have days where I agree wholeheartedly with my dad.  He tells me that some days serve only to help me understand the act of drinking large amounts of hard alcohol.