Some thoughts on the first week of school

There are a few phrases that I can honestly say terrify me.

* "We're going to have a small quiz today on the first day of class.  It's on completely basic principles and you all should have no problem remembering everything."  Uh.... Well damn.  This means that I'm not going to have any idea what's on this quiz.  I get the quiz, the kid next to me is already done with his and I can't think of anything to write down.  Crap.  Good omens all around.

* "The basis for this theory is in quantum mechanics."  Oh dear.  This means I'm going to have to study and try and understand quantum mechanics?

* "This class is mostly full of freshmen."  Hahahaha I'm a second year PhD student....  mm this should be fun.

On a side note, I kind of adore school being back in session because people watching has become a magnificent distraction of my time.  Last week while waiting for a class to be open I saw the best kid walk by.  He had a long curly fro that was styled perfectly in a Flock of Seagulls do.  I wanted to take a picture so bad but kid was booking it like mad to get to class.  Poor freshy, he was probably lost.

Expectations.

Funny thing them...

If you know me you know my feelings on using the dictionary to define things (i.e. I hate it) when giving a talk or something like that.  But sometimes it does adequately express my relationship with the term I'm investigating. 
Example:

ex·pec·ta·tion

1 : the act or state of expecting : anticipation

2 a : something expected   b : basis for expecting : assurance 

3 : the state of being expected

4 a : expectancy  b : expected value

 

Here's my issue with expectations.  They're impossible not to have right?  But no where in that definition does it state that they are at all based in fact, reality, or logic.  This is pure emotion right here.  There is that pesky word 'assurance' but the example that was given had to do with people making assurances regarding wills.  I think it's safe to discount that as truly being fact.  The part of the definition that just kills me is 4b, the expected value of something.  Expectations get so convoluted in your mind when they're jumbled around with hopes and dreams and emotions.  Those four get together, have a party, and shove lamesauce reality and logic straight out the door like little engineering nerds at a frat party.

I realize expectations have a place at the party in my head.  Just sometimes I wish they wouldn't be so pushy!  I like logic and reason, I embrace their nerdiness!  But still these expectations just get in there and have a conversation much like in Emperor's New Groove with the shoulder angel/devil where the devil says "He's going to lead you down the path of right, I'm going to lead you down the path that ROCKS!".  Because expectations do rock.  They make you work hard, give you hope, and when they're met or exceeded all is sweetness and light.  

 

Oh but then there are those rare moments when you wake up from the party in your head and realize you have a sick hangover.  And you try to remember why you have this horrendous headache, and, AH....there it is:  those expectations got justalittlebit outta hand and carried away.  OOPS!  Time to rein those suckas in!  Whether they've been straight up dashed or just need to be refocused in a more refined less alcoholic direction the feeling is the same; headache.

V.I.P. Status

Something that always makes me feel special is when I have to special order something from a restaurant.  Here's a big secret about me.  I like food.  Every vacation I go on centers around the time of food I'm going to eat.  Honestly.  I'm going to AZ in a couple weeks, my sis asked me what I want to do, and all but one of the things I listed was a restaurant I wanted to visit.  I live large right?

One of my favorite places to eat happens to be California Pizza Kitchen.  Their crust is just about the best thing in my little world.  My favorite pizza of theirs is the Santa Fe Chicken.  I think it reminds me of home even though it is not remotely like anything in Santa Fe.  But the guacamole it comes with is quality.  Anyway, it is no longer on their menu.  Why it isn't I have no idea because every one I have talked to really likes it.  But they're still make it for you... if you ask the chef.  So each time I go I get to special order from the chef something that isn't on the menu.  It makes me feel special all the time.  I just can't help it!  I'm a high roller what can I say.

Peach

One of the things I miss the most about being away from New Mexico is my puppies.  My parents have two miniature schnauzers that I adore.  And here in Mich I have often considered getting a dog.  Don't worry, I'm practical enough to realize that I don't have enough time to devote to one, but fortunately I have a friend who just got a puppy.  And that friend likes me just enough to let me dogsit her sometimes : ).  He also let me name her.  So let me introduce my proxy dog:

Peach

Super adorable cute right?  I think she's so dang cute.  And even better, she loves me.  Totally loves me.  Haha she comes over to my house sometimes and we just have so much fun.  I have a glass sliding door to my backyard and she just likes to sit and look out and wait for me to take her out.  Sometimes she gets too excited though and just runs into the door.  It's kind of hilarious.  But then she looks at me with this look:

And I take complete pity and let outside for as long as she wants.  She also totally adores this blanket that I have.  If she sees it she immediately runs over to it and lays down.  Being a puppy is hard work!

So excited to have a friend with a dog!!  Haha it's like I'm an aunt and I don't actually have to do anything but I get all the benefits : ).

The Wave

So I think I can safely say we've all done this:  You're driving along nicely in your car and you realize you're not in the lane of traffic you need to be and you want to move over.  Some kind soul lets you in and you do this:

The courtesy wave.  "Thanks so much for letting me in, I really appreciate it."  I for one, feel like a fool when I do this, but I do it anyway.  If at least just to acknowledge the fact that this person didn't have to let me in and they did.  But some people take this way too far.  I was in traffic the other day and I witnessed this man, with his windows open and he was clearly not in the right lane.  Because his lane was ending.  And he sticks his arm out the window, waves at the car behind him and then just moves over.  Coming within an inch of hitting the person's car.  He didn't even wait for the person to let him in, he just straight up cut him off.  Does waving absolve him of his sins?  I'm inclined to think not.  This guy is just a tool.  Waving doesn't give you the right to just cut people off because you didn't pay attention to the traffic signs!!  How lame.

On another completely unrelated thought,  I played the piano for an hour and a half today.  I have really missed playing the piano so this was really enjoyable to me.  But I realized that my wrists and fingers are sore.  I haven't played the piano in so long that I'm actually sore from doing it!  I didn't even remember you could get sore!  Maybe that's why I was playing so terribly haha, I'm out of practice!!

Daaaayyyy 2.

That's right.  Day 2.  Technically this should have been day one but I was got involved in a fairly spectacular conversation and after said conversation I couldn't think about anything remotely related to day one.  So here we sit on day 2.  Here's what happened:

It was late Saturday evening.  I got a text while sitting in a movie. 
It's from my sister saying she's running a half marathon.  HA.  I about choked. 
Instead I smartly responded "What?".
"A half marathon in QC at the end of January."
"Okay."

The next morning I was kind of asleep still...
Me:  "Okay so what's going on?"
Abbey:  "I'm running a half marathon.  Want to run it with me?"
Me:  "Okay deal"

And that was it.  Deal done.  What on earth have I done?  Weirdly though I am super excited (we're at Sunday now).  I found a training plan to follow and even worked in another week by week thing to train my spirituality kinda.  I've always kind of had it in the back of my head as one of those things I'd like to do but was pretty sure I'd never do.  Because I'm terrible at running.  I don't like running.  Well I like that running makes me feel good, but I am not good at it.  It is not something that comes easy to me.  Not being able to do math in front of my genius father, that comes easy to me, running... that does not come easy to me.  But I've been getting better at it, so I'm excited about running for two hours and thirteen hours.  I'm excited.

Monday.  Day one of training.  I'm sore already from last weeks working out.  But I'm excited.  Day one of training is running for 36 minutes, for me that's about 3.5 miles.  I'm excited, hyped up and ready to go!!!  I made a new playlist to listen to and I am PSYCHED about it.  I started running and then I realized that day one was not a good day.  It was a punch you in the face each step you take kind of a day.  It was a stomach cramp day.  I haven't gotten stomach cramps in like 6 years, since I was doing fitness days with a British soccer coach.  What.  The.  Heck.  Day one was not a good cardio day.  Not a good day at all.  Granted we all have good days and bad days.  My bad days running are more often then my good days.  But they still punch you in the face suck.  It was while I was getting punched in the face that I started regretting this long and thought out decision making process of mine.  Regretting it.

But it was just a bad day.  And I'm still excited.  But day one left me so wrecked that day two didn't even happen.  How sad it that.  At least I have 6 months to get through this :).

Two for One

Ah the last day of July....  I'm not exactly sure where July went as the last thing I remember was being home in New Mex for the Fourth of July, but I guess it had to have gone somewhere since it's now just a few short hours away from August...  Ah well.  I've had a couple thoughts in the past week that I thought I'd share/get input on.  And they're completely and totally unrelated but I'm too efficient (read: lazy) to put them in two different posts.  So.  Two for one special aisle five.

Gaming:  I was playing games recently and a friend of mine mentioned that her husband has a theory about people.  That when it comes to 'games' they are either the kind that lose and never want to play again, or the kind that lose and must play again.  This got me thinking about which type I fall into.  Now, I'm a competitive person.  I like to be good at things that I undertake.  And I like to win.  Secretly I like to beat people into the ground with my superior skill in wit, athleticism, and all around awesomeness.  But despite that, after consideration, I fall into category one; the type that will lose and doesn't care to play again.  Here's why.  I figured that when I really care about the game that I'm playing, I'm putting as much effort into is as I have at the time, and if (big if!) I lose, I really don't want to play again because I already put in my effort so I'm done.  This is not a defeatist attitude trust me, it's just me saying 'okay, I did that, didn't win, and I'm okay with that'.  If I don't care about the game then I'm probably playing to appease others and if I lose I'd rather do something I can win and pound people at then go another round at the game I didn't care about in the first place.  So even though I'm competitive.... I'm okay with losing and then being done. (*note, this does not apply when I am learning a game, then I want to play as many times as possible until I feel I am as good as I can be.  Prideful, I know but there it is.)

Music:  It's funny to me how some senses are completely tied to memories.  Specifically I can hear a certain song and it reminds me immediately, for better or worse, of a certain person or exact instant in time.  I can recall perfectly every emotion and detail of the memory or aspect of the person I'm remembering.  This happened the other day because I decided to go to an old school playlist on my ipod for a run I went on.  Every song I listened to made me think of something like this.  For example, "Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf reminds me of living at my sisters house in Gilbert and driving home late at night from Sonic just blasting the song with my open windows, then pulling into the driveway and just sitting and listening and feeling so happy about my situation.  It was so significant because my sister had just moved to this house they rented and we painted it and moved in and it really felt like a home.  That is also the house I got locked out of and instead of calling my sister at one in the morning I slept in my car.... I was a loser.  But a happy loser hahaha.  I have so many other scenarios like this it kind of baffles me.  I have a strong relationship with music and my emotions so maybe that is the reason for the correlation but even if it isn't I love the little memories that are randomly triggered without my invitation or permission.  Even the bittersweet ones.