Monday, September 20, 2010

Some thoughts on the first week of school

There are a few phrases that I can honestly say terrify me.

* "We're going to have a small quiz today on the first day of class.  It's on completely basic principles and you all should have no problem remembering everything."  Uh.... Well damn.  This means that I'm not going to have any idea what's on this quiz.  I get the quiz, the kid next to me is already done with his and I can't think of anything to write down.  Crap.  Good omens all around.

* "The basis for this theory is in quantum mechanics."  Oh dear.  This means I'm going to have to study and try and understand quantum mechanics?

* "This class is mostly full of freshmen."  Hahahaha I'm a second year PhD student....  mm this should be fun.

On a side note, I kind of adore school being back in session because people watching has become a magnificent distraction of my time.  Last week while waiting for a class to be open I saw the best kid walk by.  He had a long curly fro that was styled perfectly in a Flock of Seagulls do.  I wanted to take a picture so bad but kid was booking it like mad to get to class.  Poor freshy, he was probably lost.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Expectations.

Funny thing them...

If you know me you know my feelings on using the dictionary to define things (i.e. I hate it) when giving a talk or something like that.  But sometimes it does adequately express my relationship with the term I'm investigating. 
Example:

ex·pec·ta·tion

1 : the act or state of expecting : anticipation
2 a : something expected   b : basis for expecting : assurance 
3 : the state of being expected
4 a : expectancy  b : expected value
 
Here's my issue with expectations.  They're impossible not to have right?  But no where in that definition does it state that they are at all based in fact, reality, or logic.  This is pure emotion right here.  There is that pesky word 'assurance' but the example that was given had to do with people making assurances regarding wills.  I think it's safe to discount that as truly being fact.  The part of the definition that just kills me is 4b, the expected value of something.  Expectations get so convoluted in your mind when they're jumbled around with hopes and dreams and emotions.  Those four get together, have a party, and shove lamesauce reality and logic straight out the door like little engineering nerds at a frat party.
I realize expectations have a place at the party in my head.  Just sometimes I wish they wouldn't be so pushy!  I like logic and reason, I embrace their nerdiness!  But still these expectations just get in there and have a conversation much like in Emperor's New Groove with the shoulder angel/devil where the devil says "He's going to lead you down the path of right, I'm going to lead you down the path that ROCKS!".  Because expectations do rock.  They make you work hard, give you hope, and when they're met or exceeded all is sweetness and light.  
 
Oh but then there are those rare moments when you wake up from the party in your head and realize you have a sick hangover.  And you try to remember why you have this horrendous headache, and, AH....there it is:  those expectations got justalittlebit outta hand and carried away.  OOPS!  Time to rein those suckas in!  Whether they've been straight up dashed or just need to be refocused in a more refined less alcoholic direction the feeling is the same; headache.