Remembering Lent

Easter has come and gone.  And with it my Lent resolution to abstain from desserts, candy, and chocolate.

In some ways it was a really long forty days.  But surprisingly it really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Overall I was surprised at how well I could do without the things that truly, I do love.  And truthfully I didn't cheat!  There were some days that I had some dessert, but I justify this through my mini-Easters.  (In real Lent, Sunday doesn't count towards your abstinence because it's a mini-Easter)  And, many of my meals were chocolate mint protein bars but I don't count those as chocolate because I'm pretty sure everything about those bars are fake chemicals.  I feel actually really proud of myself for sticking to it like I did.  Although honestly that may have been in part because almost every one I know knew that I was doing this, so cheating would have involved going against the intense stubbornness my character is ingrained with.  I was perhaps too open with this resolution...  haha.

My most academic thought about the experience (are you ready for this) was my surprise at how often I was presented with this type of food.  I really didn't realize how often I go to activities, friends cook, or I make myself desserts, have candy, or are eating chocolate.  It was honestly almost every day that someone around me had the forbidden fruit as it were and offered it to me.

I also realized that I am WAY more picky than I like to tell myself I am.  Haha it's much easier to refuse desserts, that honestly I don't like under normal circumstance, when I was "observing Lent".  There really are a lot of things that I had NO problem giving up.
BUT.... on the other hand there were things that I realized I like a lot more than I like to tell myself I do.  Seems to me there really is something to that whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing.

Overall, it was a pretty cool experience and something I'm glad I did.  I do need to thank Stephanie, for being SUCH a good friend and eating double helpings of everything we encountered just for me :).  What a true friend.

And in case anyone was wondering I broke my fast with lovely, chocolately, fantastical brownies.  My favorite.

Ready for Easter!

So, I'm not Catholic.  I've been many times on Easter and Christmas but I've never adhered to the traditions such as Mardi Gras and Lent.  That all changes this year : ).

This year I've decided to observe the tradition of Lent and give up all kinds of candy, chocolate, and cookies.  I realize that 40 days is a long time, and those 40 days do include my birthday.... but I think I can do it!  I'm going to put forth my best effort.

And in honor of the excess before the cutting off:

My favorite kinds of cookies.  I made 24 and I've already eaten 10 of them.  It's much easier to give something up when I feel sick just thinking about it : ).  So here's to sugar, my impossible sweet tooth (that began early btw), and giving it all up for self improvement!

Fall apparently passed me by...

The last time I looked it was the first of November.  It was then that I realized I have completely missed all of October.  And now I realize I've already missed an entire week of November!  What is that all about?  I guess I missed all this time in blogging too since it's been a month and a half since I've written something.  There's two reasons for this, both don't matter at all but I'll tell you anyway.  First it really has been like I've missed the last month.  This semester has just been going by insanely fast which is good because I hate it, but also bad because I don't have any time to get my bearings!  The second reason is that I haven't been incredibly happy and writing when I'm not happy is not a fun experience for anyone.  But I think I've turned a corner there.  

For a little while I could see no light at the end of the tunnel.  I thought that the tunnel I was in had no end and people just went in it to die horrible claustrophobic deaths and no one would ever find their bodies.

Because of that happy sentiment I've had the opportunity to realize just how amazing my friends and family are.  Never before in my life have I had to lean so hard on the ones who love me.  They taught me something I have a sneaking suspicion I desperately needed to learn.  That is:  The value of Perspective.

Everything is in extreme focus when you're very close to it.

Such extreme focus that the rest of the big picture is severely diminished.

Sometimes that kind of focus can bring beauty to something you never noticed before.  Unfortunately it can also make you feel like you are a single solitary leaf being blown about by the wind and no one else knows how you're feeling.

This isn't exactly reality though.  There are many beautiful things that we can see if we widen our focus, and widen our perspective.  It might take a little longer to see (we have to lengthen the shutter speed), but it's still there.  And the colors can be amazing.

Basically the thing I learned about perspective is that there's always light somewhere.  It just might not be where I'm looking at the moment.  So if I don't see any light, I just need to look somewhere else.

And it's always the darkest before the brilliant sunny dawn.

*If you couldn't tell, I get picture happy in the fall.  It turned out to be one of the main things that made me happy this past month.  I have so many more pictures I wish I could put them all up so that I could look at them more and more.

V.I.P. Status

Something that always makes me feel special is when I have to special order something from a restaurant.  Here's a big secret about me.  I like food.  Every vacation I go on centers around the time of food I'm going to eat.  Honestly.  I'm going to AZ in a couple weeks, my sis asked me what I want to do, and all but one of the things I listed was a restaurant I wanted to visit.  I live large right?

One of my favorite places to eat happens to be California Pizza Kitchen.  Their crust is just about the best thing in my little world.  My favorite pizza of theirs is the Santa Fe Chicken.  I think it reminds me of home even though it is not remotely like anything in Santa Fe.  But the guacamole it comes with is quality.  Anyway, it is no longer on their menu.  Why it isn't I have no idea because every one I have talked to really likes it.  But they're still make it for you... if you ask the chef.  So each time I go I get to special order from the chef something that isn't on the menu.  It makes me feel special all the time.  I just can't help it!  I'm a high roller what can I say.

Desiderata

My awesome sister did something for me when I came to grad school hell heaven.  When I first came I was really lonely and absolutely hated being in my office.  So she put together bunches of pictures of my fam, some "fail" things because they make me laugh, and quotes that are both inspirational or funny, or break my heart because my niece said them and I can hear her little voice in my head saying them.  She also sent bunches of tacks so I could hang them on my walls.  So now when I'm in my office I'm surrounded by love and family and laughing.  One of the things she sent me is something I had seen before, I guess you'd call it a poem, but it's called Desiderata.  I'm going to repeat it here just for my own benefit because I love it so much and it never fails to inspire me.  The man who wrote it said in his diary that, "I should like, if I could, to leave a humble gift -- a bit of chaste prose that had caught up some noble moods.".  I think he succeeded.

(I've added the emphasis my sister added for me : )

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,

for the world is full of trickery.

Bul let this not blind you to what virtuie there is;

many persons strive for high edeals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.  Especially do no feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubth the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

kepp peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.  Strive to be happy.

My Aches

Most the time it's just a dull ache.  That thing I mostly try not to think about.  Sometimes I forget about the ache and it rescinds into my chest.  This happens when I'm busy, doing other things, or laughing.  But then there are days when the Ache is more of a stabbing.  These are not trivial Aches.  They are not the kind you feel momentarily after a bad break up with a boy you were never supposed to be with anyway, or the ache of getting in an fleeting argument with a friend.  These Aches are not those aches. No matter what I do I cannot forget that these Aches are there.  I cannot forget that it just hurts and there's nothing I can do about it.  I can't forget it, I can't get rid of it, I just have to feel it.

The more that I live with my friend, the Ache, the more I start to realize there could be benefits to it.  Of course I resented it at first.  I even considered, and would have, given up all my dreams to live without it.  But you can't do that can you?  You cannot give up things to stop the hurt.  Sometimes you wish on all the stars that it didn't hurt, but would you really ever give up the cause of the hurt? Never, because the things that hurt the most, the things that cause the biggest Aches in our hearts, are the things we love the most.  They're the things that would Always make us question giving up our dreams.  But these Aches are special Aches, not only are they kind that never go away, they're the kind that push us to be better.  The kind that teach us we can't give up on our dreams, even if we wish and hope that we could.

There can be comfort in the pain. Comfort in the fact, that behind the Ache, behind the things that hurt, is complete and pure Love.  The kind of Love that makes you smile in the dark, that brings you joy in the hardest of times.  The Ache hurts, but the Love always shines through in the end.  It makes the Ache worth it.  It teaches me that the Ache is there to make me more aware of the Love, not to block out the Love.  So the Ache is there.  And I can't, and won't, get rid of it.  So I embrace the Love it brings, and the comfort that I am not the only one with the Aches.  And of course not the only one with such amazing Love in my life.

Today....

Today has been a wonderful terrible day all rolled up in one. Crazy how stuff like that works. And I'm in the mood to talk it out so here we go. And thanks for listening ahead of time :)
Today I spent a lot of time at work which was totally fine but for some reason it just gave me way to much energy. I had to do about 50 push ups to work it all out...well kind of. Mostly I just needed to get my mind off of the phone call my momma gave me.

About three weeks ago my grandma fell down some stairs and broke her elbow and had to have surgery. She was getting better, I talked to her on Saturday, but I guess today she fell again. Only this time she broke her femur (I've done this before, it's terrible) and she has to have a really complicated surgery and she won't be able to walk for 6 weeks. I truly despise the feeling of not being abl to do anything. My momma sounds so sad and I'm worried about her and about my grandma too. It's just crazy how fast things happen. How fast your life can change. Or how fast your perception of life can change. Maybe that's more appropriate.

So that was hard. Is still hard. I don't know. I'm scattered. But at the same time I am now SOOOOOO ridiculously excited and happy for my best friend in the world who got engaged tonight! She's been dating her fiance for four years and from the beginning it just made me happy to see them together. They're fantastic together and her being happy makes me just as happy! I totally approve of Jimmy, especially after Lauren and I putting him through the experience of meeting my papa bear : ). What a fantastic way to end a weird day right?!

Love is so amazing to watch. We should realize it more in our lives and not take it for granted. Because you never know how fast life can change on you.

Looking Back - 2009

This is incredibly out of order seeing as I haven't done Christmas yet but that one will take some time and this one I've been thinking about more. I decided I'm going to list all the things I can remember about 2009. I figure if I can remember them then they were important and meant a lot to me.

* At the beginning of the year I moved with my sister Abbey into a new house. This actually took place the previous November but January when I came back to school is really when I moved moved in. That was my favorite house to live in while I was in Arizona for many different reasons (living with Sarah is tied). First I love Queen Creek. I know it's way the heck out there but it was my favorite. And I loved that I had a huge room where I could work out in one part and not be working out on my bed. I also really like living with Abbey and Ben. I'm sure they weren't as happy about it as I was but that time especially was really good. I remember having a big conversation with my mom about me living with them knowing I would be leaving and how hard that would be. Well it was hard and Kyndal being really close to me is tough but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Abbey was my best friend that semester and still is.
* I discovered that the thing I hate most in the world is trying to describe how awesome I am in personal statements for grad school applications.
* I flew to Michigan in March to look at the grad school and had a panic attack on the air plane about how far away I was going, how alone I would (I thought) be, and how I really wasn't good enough to go to grad school because Michigan was the only place that accepted me. That was also the weekend that I realized Michigan was where I wanted and needed to be and I was calm. Probably because I decided to shelve leaving indefinitely. I couldn't even talk about leaving. I left that all out. I planned for it but couldn't talk or even think about all I was leaving.
* I graduated. I spent probably 75 hours on 9 portfolios detailing my proficiency in those 9 areas to a specific level. They were awesome. I think I was more proud of them than anything else just because they took so much of my time and energy. And they were what was standing between me and graduation. I also graduated Summa cum Laude which I wasreallyproudofbutdidn'twanttoshowoff. It's been 7 months and it still hasn't hit me that I have a degree. But every once in a blue moon I think to myself huh you Heidi have a degree. This graduation was also way more exciting than high school graduation although my speech then was pretty awesome.
* I rafted down the Grand Canyon. Coolest thing I've done and one of the most fun. Such fun people to hang out with and a beautiful place. It's my happy place that I go to now.
* We had an awesome family vacation in Pagosa Springs. We spent one whole week there just relaxing, walking, getting yelled at by old men, and taking pictures. Awesomeness.
* My mom drove with me to Michigan the beginning of July and helped me move in. I was really grateful that she came up and was able to help me get situated. I'm sure I was probably not as good at showing that appreciation as I should have been but that was because I was really stressed. It was good.
* I tried to get used to Michigan. I have met so many awesome people and without them I totally would have fallen apart. I missed my family and friends SO bad. It has been nice to be on my own and getting to know new people and new things, but part of me really misses the comfort zone I had. Hopefully this will become another comfort zone for me.
* I wanted to quit grad school. I was terrified I couldn't do and I didn't know what to do. But then numerous people told me I could and I am living on borrowed faith until I believe it too.
* I learned how tragic some things can be watching some of my amazing friends. I cried with them and for them and prayed for them every day. They became my heroes and I hope I can be a good friend to them.
* I realized how much I love everyone in my life. Love them so much it hurts and I wish I could hug them all. I need them so much and I can only try to be as good a friend to them as they have been to me.

It had it's ups which were some of the best ever. And it had its downs which have been the worst. But if it taught me anything it was to cherish the good things while they're happening and save them up for when the bad things are happening. And no matter what smile, I don't know how but it helps.

Hallowizzle

I think I am one of the few people who really truly LOVES Halloween. Most the time I don't do very much but that's just because if I started I would have to go all the way out and I don't have the means/time/energy to do that. But I do love it. I love thinking of costumes, seeing little children, candy, all of it. This year though I just focused on my costume, and I'm just going to show one picture because it really isn't that exciting. As I look back my costume was lame which makes me sad, but I was really excited about it anyway and I had a lot of fun. I went to one party and was really excited by the originality of other people's costumes. They were all so dang cute. I think I need to start thinking now about next year....

I was a rockstar btw. I was going to grab my guitar hero fake guitar but I forgot/thought I would be even more of a dork.

What was however interesting about the night was on the way home. I had my roommate Shannon in the car with me, we turned the corner onto our street and notice this guy in a long black trench coat seemingly waiting to cross the street. Then I notice that they guy is wearing a hockey mask like Jason (the horror film, there should be more information probably to describe him but I have none, he didn't have a chainsaw). So we turn the corner then he starts crossing the street and walking slowly down our street. Whoa. Okay here my mind starts going through horror film scenarios and I am internally freaking out because one I stop the car I have to put my boots back on! By the time we get out of the car the guy has made it almost to us and is still just walking slowly. We both non-chalantly walk to our door, making some kind of conversation about anything other than the horror film character following us. Then get to the door hurriedly get it open, get inside, and then proceed to check ALL our doors to make sure they are securely locked! Now guy was probably just doing this for effect, maybe he was even just walking.....creepy creepy night walking (at 12:30am!) but really. It was scary.

New Purchase

I've decided the next thing I want to buy. First though would probably be a purse. And normally, that would be exactly the correct thought. But my attention has totally been diverted. So come the end of October, I know what I'm going to buy.


Maybe not this exact camera, but one like it. I want a real camera that I can take amazing pictures with. And I'm going to read the entire owners manual so that I can try everything out. I'm so set on it. I can't wait. Now I just need to do the research to find the right one to buy and the best place to buy it!

EXCITEMENT

With a capital X!!! Well capital everything. I'm that excited. And once I explain you'll think I'm nerdy to get this excited, but whatev I am. So here's the deal, my life plan if you will. I am in school now to get my Ph.D. *insert short divertion here* Today I officially became a graduate student. What I was before this point in time, I have no idea, so we'll skip that part. But today. Today was orientation, and while the information contained was completely useless to one who has been her for two months, I got a free honey baked ham sandwich out of the deal. The result however is the same, I am now a grad student. I am now free to make fun of undergrads! Now, back to the part about my life plan. After getting my Ph.D. I would really love to become a teacher. That's my goal and I've sort of set things up to make that happen. I went to a school that puts out a lot of teachers, and I told my former teachers at ASU that it was their job to give me a job when I graduated. We'll see how that last part works out. But because of that I have also planned many fun things to help me be a teacher, such as classes on teaching. Now to the EXCITING part. Yesterday I was called by my professor asking to meet with me urgently. So, fearing for my life, I went to his office where he told me that I was going to be considered for a fellowship if I wanted. Today I was told by the director of the fellowship program that it was almost guaranteed that I got the fellowship. This fellowship is called the GAANN (graduate assistance in areas of national need) and is from the Department of Education. So it is only for Ph.D. students who plan on becoming faculty members (Me!). Here are the requirements of the award:
*I have to get good grades and progress towards graduation (great, great plan, already on my list of things to do)
*I have to take ENGR 580 - Teaching Engineering (already listed on my plan of study as a class I wanted to take, listed 6 weeks ago actually)
*Be a Graduate Student Instructor (awesome, I'd actually get to teach and wanted to do this)
*Take teaching workshops at least once a semester (didn't know these existed but awesome!)
*Create a teaching portfolio (would have needed to do this for any job application anyway...so now it will just be better because I'll have help.)

So basically, I get a really prestigious award that I can put on my resume proving that I wanted to be a teacher long before I graduated and had little other options. I get to not only do the things I was planning to do, they are now mandatory and will be facilitated greatly because of it. And I get help achieving those things. Honestly I couldn't have worked this out more perfectly if I had tried and I'm really so excited! Plus I get to save my prof a year's worth of money which puts me in his good graces at least for a little while :)! So there we go, haha I'm excited because my life plan is actually working out really well so far. I knew there was a reason I loved it here!


***UPDATE: two seconds after posting this I checked my email and there was the official letter saying I have been awarded this fellowship!***

Industrious...

Today's post is about how proud of myself I feel.

Today I came home from work and proceeded to chop the following items:






One Vidalia Onion
Three Potatoes
Three Red Bell Peppers
Two Orange Bell Peppers
Two Yellow Bell Peppers
One Green Bell Pepper
Two Celery stalks
One Bag of Baby Carrots


These items were chopped to make the following dishes:
*Vegetable Soup for a soup diet
*Vegetable Beef Stew
*Meatloaf
*And other random dishes I will make with the tons of celery and bell pepper that I have left over.



Just the two dishes I made tonight (the two stews) will feed me for many days lunch and dinner. And I'm making the meatloaf on Thursday for my roommate and I. All in all I'm pretty proud of myself because one they look good, all the colorful vegetables, and two they actually taste good. Which is awesome because I basically made it all up....Well I had a recipe for the soup but pretty much completely changed it. I'm doing the soup diet one with Abbey so I tested it first and let her know that it really does taste pretty good. And I guess it's only like 80 calories a cup so... sweetness. So this is totally random but I just had to share my cooking urge. I'll probably make cookies some time this week as well because they just sound amazing.

My new house!

Okie here are some pictures of my new house and some part of ann arbor.

So first this is my west wall of windows. It's really so nice, except in the afternoon when it kind of gets hot...but I'm sure I'll be loving that once it starts to get cold here!

This is my most favorite part, my wall of closets that can hold all my clothes and all my shoes and stuff. It's amazing.

And then the staple of every room... my bed. Haha love it.

I'm thinking because I'm pretty far North and it's the middle of the summer, it stays light so late here. This is 9:30 and the sun is just setting. I think it's so cool.

These are my new neighbors. To be honest they scare me a little bit...They are fun to watch though, from the safety of my living room.

So I think that's everything! I like it a lot so far, it's beautiful and green and humid and I love it. Although the humidity makes running harder than I've experienced...haha it's still a lot of fun to be in such a new place.

I have no forgotten...

I have not forgotten that I have written nothing about my new habitation, including my house, my room, and Ann Arbor, but I am waiting on pictures from my mom's camera to do all that. Hopefully by the end of this week : ).

M-day

7 days from today I have to grow up. Sort of...I think. Haha I leave for Michigan and drive for four days to my new life. Well my life for the next four years. As it gets closer and closer I'm getting so incredibly excited. Last night with Abbey I looked up all the different places that are near my new home in Ann Arbor, like New York, Toronto, Niagara Falls, Chicaco, St. Paul, Washington D.C. and they're all super close! I'm so excited to be close to those places and experience this whole new culture that is the North country as my dad calls it ha. It has also hit me however that I don't know some things. For example I was sitting in the car with my dad and realized I have no idea how to take care of a car in cold weather. No idea whatsoever. At all. Ha and he started to tell me then got distracted by the different places I need to take my car this week. I still have no idea about grad school, what I'll be researching or what classes I need to take but I'm not so worried about that. I'm pretty sure my advisor is really involved and will help me out with that. Other than the not knowing though, I'm really excited about starting this new 'job' and starting school again. I'm excited to learn new things. Another thing that I am SUPER excited about is the cool fact that I got season tickets to Michigan football. I LOVE football and I think it's going to be so cool to go to those crazy games. I'm excited to be in a college town and move into a new place and have a new home and explore a new town. It's going to be so much fun I think!

Also kind of sad about everything I'm leaving. Well not everything because I'm not leaving things but I am leaving people. It's nice because I've been able to see so many people before I leave but I'm still sad I'm leaving. So! They all had better come visit me in Michigan. It is strange though to realize the people that I miss. Some people I didn't expect to miss I miss a lot, and other people I don't miss so much. It's a funny realization. But it's really amazing to feel this nostalgia I guess for leaving because it reminds me of the amazing people I have in my life and that they are so quality that I do miss them immensly when I leave. So this is just my little shout out that while I miss you so much, I miss you because you're flippin amazing! Loves! And here's to growing up!

Plans

So I was watching this new show called Royal Pains last night and the main character said "When man plans God laughs." And I thought that might be appropriate for this post... haha but I have plans anyway.


First I want to share my new mascot. I think he's stinkin' funny and pretty cute. So I've adopted him as my mascot. For further reference his name is Rufus because it's a scraggly name.






Anyway, I told Abbey that I would blog more about what I'm doing since I am going to be so far away, so I'll try to do that. And what better place to start then my plans for the next three months. And ya that's seriously as far as I've gotten. Okie first, I'm going to be leaving New Mex the 29th of June and driving (yup all the way) to Michigan. But on the way there I'll get to stop and see my adorable friend Lindsey in Nebraska. She was my college roommate and I was in her wedding and she just had her first baby Adisynn in January. I am SO excited to see her and the baby. So I get to Michigan the 1st of July where I'll be sharing a condo with a girl in Ann Arbor. She sounds really nice and I'm excited to meet her. I hope she goes to church activities so that I have something to do on the 4th of July... because it's the Saturday before I have the opportunity to go to church on Sunday. I probably could figure out it something was going on...but that's beside the point. Then on the 7th I start my 'internship' with my new advisor. I don't have a dang clue what I'll be doing... And then school starts September 8th and again... no clue on classes or what I'll be doing. BUT I have a place to live haha. Oh as far as moving... I don't know how I'm going to get my stuff up there. I guess shipping it but I have no idea how to handle that at all. I need my daddy to help haha.

I guess the Lord won't be laughing too hard at me because I have less plans then I thought I did. Well I'm nervous but oh well... haha we'll see how this all works out.

Whew!

Okie so I know it's been a while. A long time actually but at first I just had nothing interesting to say and then I had no time to say the interesting things. Ha well maybe that's a stretch to say that they're the interesing things. Haha first we'll start with GRADUATION!!! Haha I finally graduated. Well I say finally but honestly it has gone by so incredibly quickly. It's amazing to sit here by myself and think that I have a degree. But enough about my personal reflections on value. For my graduation President of the United States came. It was really pretty awesome to hear him talk, and make fun of Michael Crow. It was not fun however to get the Sun Devil stadium 4 hours before the ceremony and chill out in the sun. Well perhaps chill is the wrong word.... My good friend Kara also graduated with her PhD and she got to walk across the stage and shake the President's hand! So that was commencement, and then for convocation I was chosen to be the Senior of the Year so I got to sit up on the stage the entire ceremony. That was pretty fun but I had to keep reminding myself not to fidget because everyone could see me. That was the hardest part. Oh and figuring out how to spell my name phonetically: hi-Dee zip-EAR-ian, ya that was the best I could come up with. But it worked. Then I walked across the stage and almost got spun off it when my professor hugged me. That was pretty fun though I have to say. I'll never forget it. Then we took some family pictures outside which will perhaps get posted eventually, after I remember to transfer them to my computer and give them to Abbey (since she threatened me ; ).

So that was graduation. The next day I'm sitting at home and thinking it was fun but kind of a huge letdown. Then I realize it's because I still had to give a final presentation to the Grand Canyon in Flagstaff. And I had to make sure my project worked since my teacher (the one who hugged me) was threatening to fail me if it didn't work... But we did get it to work and I was able to go to Flagstaff and give my awesome presentation (because basically our team was the best) and then go on a three day trip floating down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon! That was possibly the most fun I have ever had on a trip. But I was super happy to come home and hang out with my bucket and my nephew for a couple days while Abbey and Ben went on an anniversary night. It was pretty crazy being a single mother of two for two days but thankfully I crashed a party late at Kara's and she was nice enough to take us in for a couple hours, and we also went to a movie for Kyndal. Random thought about the movie... it seems like more and more cartoon movies are really for adults, the jokes I hope go over the head of small children. Did I just miss those things when I was small or is this a new development? Anyway, then I got to spend the rest of the week with Abbey before I left. It was a little weird because I had this motto. I planned everything I'd be doing in New Mex, everything that was happening when I get to Michigan, but never not once did I let myself think about leaving. I couldn't take it. But it was fun to hang out and not have to worry about school.

Now the hard part...leaving. It was kind of nice because leaving makes you think about everybody you're actually leaving, you work really hard to see all of them. So I got to have an amazing fun road trip with Sarah, see movies with Anton and Matt, hang out with Scott, and then cry with Abbey. Now that I'm back in New Mex I've also gotten to see a lot of friends because I'm leaving, and I get to stay with one of my friends on the way to Michigan! It's really really nice being able to do that and have fun but at the same time it's ridiculously sad. I would say something about leaving Abbey but I can't. Let's just leave it as I'm WAY excited to see her and my bucket and nephew in three more days when we go to Pagosa! And then I'm excited to see Kara later this month and maybe Sarah! Okie I think that is all the catching up I have : )

Vote

Okay I'm working on my graduation announcements and I need opinions on what picture I should put on the announcement. So please let me know:

Today was maybe not my day...

Because Abbey and Ben are in the hospital with Devin my mom and I have been watching Kyndal and tonight with Megan we went to Chipotle to eat dinner. K had a 40 minute nap earlier today so she was wanting to run around and was easily turned into a crazy two year old. I was doing a pretty good job of entertaining her and putting off her melt downs along with mom and Meg's help but then at one point she got just a little overjealous with the arm movements and launched her bowl of beans right into my lap - as seen in the picture.

But the part of this story that is most interesting - from a human nature point of view - is that the beans also got onto my coach purse.... And honestly my thoughts where only these when my mom came to help me. Haha "Can you please just get the beans off my purse, I don't care about my jeans". Haha mom thought I was going to cry but really I half felt please just get the beans off, and half, wow that is an incredibly petty thought. But, I really like my purse. More than my jeans that sort of don't fit anymore.

Then we came home and I changed so that we could all go get a pedicure, and we were walking out and my mom put her drink on the hood of my car. The hood that only yesterday I meticulously cleaned, waxed, and dried, along with cleaning the inside, and the drink just slid off and dumped...on my car and on the legs of the pants I had just changed into. It was nice. My mom I think thought that I was mad at her for spilling the drink...really, I was just annoyed to have to change again and figure out what to wear again. Just one of those days...Lovely as always.

Loves

I was reading over my posts and first I have to say sorry some of them are way incoherent. But the one about Tyson Ritter is still beautiful and I really like looking at that picture. So I was thinking about other things that I love needed to share two of them.

First Gary Sinese. I adore the guy in absolutely everything he's been in. It all started honestly with Of Mice and Men, which is the only movie not involving a dog that has made me cry. But that aside, I love the guy. He reminds me of my dad which is probably a large part of what addicts me to him....but. I watch CSI NY religiously and anything else involving him. Kyndal watches the movie Open Season (and a lot of other cartoons which honestly I don't mind because I always have and always will love cartoons), and Gary is the bad guy. It is the funniest thing ever because the character he plays is off the wall and crazy and Gary Sinese and every other character he has played is serious and intelligent. I flippin love it!

Second love is pictures. I like to take them and I like to try as hard as I can to be artistic... which I'm really not, but I try. So I take tons of pictures and then I like to mess with them on my computer, like the colors and contrast and everything like that. Sometimes they look like crap but sometimes it works out and I have this internal feeling of accomplishment that I made something beautiful and interesting. So I thought I'd share a couple of the pictures I've taken recently and how I changed them...And I'll be proud of myself haha.

So these next pictures my friend and I were driving by this abandoned house and decided to be artistic and complete nerds but we embrace it so it's okay. Try not to look at the ones of me, I think hers look so much better than mine...