Finished

First: I love my homeplum!

I, Heidi, have now completed my junior year of college. Many thought I wouldn't make it this far, many thought I couldn't hack engineering, and many still wonder if I'll finish one more tiny year. And even if she does finish, will she really go on to grad school and get a PhD? Ya she has all these plans right now but when do plans ever work out? That's what I hear them saying constantly.

Okay that was all a lie. No one I know has ever said I wouldn't be able to do this, well except one but they're an outlier and are never counted. Truthfully those are the doubts I hear in my head. I'm still a little afraid that I am just not good at engineering and my A's mean absolutely nothing because this is just school. Or that I won't get a PhD just because I'll never be able to decide where to go to school!! 3 years of my life flew by and now I'm a senior in college (technically I was last semester but anyway...) and I have to decide what to do with the rest of my life. This summer I get to take the Graduate Records Exam, how much of a joy does that sound like? And I also get to find schools to apply to so someone will pay for me to get a Masters/PhD. My freshmen year of college I said, no I DECLARED, that I was going to grad school and I WAS NOT going to New Mex or Arizona. I was going far away to the East Coast and Boston or just anywhere else. HA. I want to do that so bad, but now I start analyzing (yup there I go again) and thinking I have no family there, no friends, no nothing, how can I do that?!?! Unfortunately I still haven't figured that part out yet.....But I'm working on it. Maybe I'll go to California which isn't too far away, or Utah (ha I gag), or even (I go against every cell in my body) I could go to the med school at UNM....I don't know! But this is what I get to decide over the summer. So while I'm SO happy this semester is finally over because for some reason I have never been so stressed in my life....my future is staring me in the face and I need to decide what I'm going to do wtih it.

Speaking of stressing, interesting side note. Mother's intuition. Some say crap that mothers can know everything their children are doing and things of this sort. BUT every time this semester that I have been sitting alone crying because I'm so stressed out I can't function, my mother texts me. She always stays up late I know but has never texted me before. Well this semester she'll text me at like 2 my time just to see how I'm doing. The first time this happened it was to tell me that Pres. Hinkley had died and it was maybe 1 week into the semester. I should not have been stressed out then...but I was, and she texts and drags out of me that I'm not okay. So she helped me fix it, not literally but just talking to her about it and having her tell me everything was fine was awesome. So ya, once, I was thinking that's cool. Well she's now done that a total of 4 times. Every time on a night when I am about to fall apart. The woman lives in New Mex and even if I was there she probably couldn't tell that I was stressed, I just don't show stuff like that often, especially to her. But no, she just 'randomly' picked those times to text me in the middle of the night to ask me about my quilt or something completely off topic of my stress and then it's all better. It's been quite amazing, so mothers....think about your kids and text them whenev you want because you randomly talking to them might keep them from falling apart completely.