Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Gymming it up

Today the thoughts of Heidi center around the gym. Well not just today I guess but that past week. I went to the gym for the first time in a too ridiculously long time on Monday and I thought about the experience afterwards.

*As a side note, if you haven't guessed I really have nothing to do while at work. Today I should be researching grad schools but I'm a little on information overload in that area and am trying to work it out in my head first. So today was spent internet shopping and commenting on my book club book. Haha and now that that's explained...*

Okay so the gym: I realized that what I love about going to the gym and working out is not that I get more in shape or tone down, although those are definite benefits! It's really that just the act of doing something makes me feel amazing. I think that as a girl I go on cycles about how I feel about myself, some days are just crappy days and I don't think I look good. And other days I feel awesome (usually after one of my boys tells me I look good but beside the point). But my cycle starts to really spiral downwards if I haven't been doing anything for a while, anything like going to the gym or playing soccer or even walking with the sis'. When I feel bad about how I'm looking, or even just feeling like I'm not looking good, then I get really down and everything seems to get worse. And going to the gym just changes that all around. In one small hour I can go from being annoyed that my back hurts so stinking bad and my shirt doesn't accentuate the right part of, to thinking that I don't care about my back because I'll forget about it soon and the shirt doesn't look that bad. Showering after I've sweated just feels so fulfilling, like the cold water just takes away my bad mood with the soap. Plus even if your excercising doesn't help you lose weight, it has so many amazing benefits! Like petting a dog lowers your blood pressure, just walking and getting your heart rate up helps your body from the inside. I also think that just the act of getting your a** into the gym takes a lot, and you can be proud that you did something. You may not see the results right away but at least you can say you did something with your day.

If I'm having a bad day I buy jelly beans. It's just what I do at school. I go to target and buy jelly belly's, because I'm addicted. I know that I do this and it happens everytime. But when I work out instead it helps so much because I'm not being destructive to myself anymore or making my image of myself worse. I know people who are even more destructive with their habits and I wish I could help them, but the other thing I realized is that your image of yourself, not just your body, but your entire life, has to come from the inside. And if you don't like what you see, it doesn't matter if other people give you advice or tell you different, your opinion is the one you listen to. So you have to kick yourself into gear and change your own life, you can't wait for someone to come along and tell you you're pretty (although it helps ;). And it does no good to complain about your life when you're not doing anything to change it.

Haha I guess that was my soapbox for the day. I didn't expect to go on like that. But I do feel that everyone has bad days and you have to use those bad days to make things better, otherwise things just keep getting worse.


Abbey said...

I love the soapbox. It's like you're yelling at me in my ear ;) Plus, now I want to eat jelly beans. And go running. Mission accomplished I think!