Saturday, September 20, 2008

Get to the heart of things

I was having a long discussion with my friend the other night and we just kept coming up with questions to ask eachother. It was pretty fun. For example, some of the questions were: What do you think your best physical quality is? What do you think your best personality trait is? Favorite flower? What song do you think best describes you (in a beat, tempo, words kind of way not the deeper meaning of the song)? Favorite cartoon as a little kid? What horrible traits are your children going to have to get back at you? What do you think my best personality trait is? (haha side note, I asked that one not because, hey tell me how awesome I am, but mostly because I am really really interested in what other people think of me) And my favorite but perhaps most deadly, biggest irrational fear? So if you feel so inclined please tell me your answers, and if you really want to know I'll tell you mine but I'm sure not everyone reading this doesn't want to know all that stuff about me. My point though was that that's the kind of information that you don't normally know or even ask but it's so fascinating to know that about people and it helps me make for a psychological profile about my friends.

A different side note but a more important one as it's racking stress up in my back; school. So I have a physics class that is SO incredibly interesting to me, but at the same time I feel a little like I'm drowning in it. I understand everything the teacher talks about in class. I understand his derivations and how we got to the formulas we have. But then he doesn't go over problems in class so I get home to my homework and have absolutely NO idea what is going on. I freaked out about this, almost unnecessarily but I blame this on cold mediction. I couldn't think at all, I couldn't create a rational plan to deal with anything, I had nothing. Abbey wasn't home so she missed this freak out but I was pacing, my heart was racing, I honestly was having a panic attack about not being able to do a stupid homework. So I went to bed. I was a little calmer in the morning and I tried a little more of the homework, but bottom line, only got 2 problems out of 5. But I felt a little better because no one else got any more than I did. Here's where most of my stress comes though. I hate turning in something like that to a teacher. It humiliates me that I wasn't able to get some simple electromagnetic physics problems. Or even anything else. I don't want to go to class because I don't want the teacher to see that I failed. That's stupid I know because the teachers are there to help and now he knows that none of us know what's going on, but still I feel personally humiliated. Well maybe one good thing about this weird reaction I have is that it totally drives me to do better at school. Right now I think I care more about my GPA then I ever have (Although it's really for a gay reason) but I am stressing myself about getting good grades and even though it annoys me I am going to be doing homework all the time.... Haha sorry for the randomness I just had to vent.


Kara said...

Hmm, its hard to remember all of the questions you asked when the comment page pops up! :) I'll answer the ones I can remember right now and then keep posting comments :). I think my best physical trait is either my eyes or my legs (its actually a good thing that I run like a freaking deer/dancer because it gives me killer calves, although it has the flipside of making me hate running in front of people. I think my best personality trait is loyalty. Whenever people ask me the if you were an animal question I answer that I'd be a swan, partly because of the whole dancer/graceful thing but also because swans mate for life and are fiercely loyal to their partners. My favorite flower is the sunflower. I actually have a very cool story about that one too that I'll perhaps share sometime, but not on a public wall . . .
What are your answers to these questions, Heidi?