Age is a tricky thing...

It sometimes seems like time just passes but nothing really changes. And then little moments happen that seriously jolt you into the present and round-a-boutly make you look at how far you've come and how much, or not, you've actually grown up. I was slapped in the face with this just the other day. And I apologize if I sound mean in the upcoming paragraphs....it's just my view of the situation. Haha I guess that might make me mean but we'll just gloss over that part.

So I went on a date and realized that the distance between 18 and 22 is much farther than I had previously thought. When I look back on how I was all through college and all the things I did, stupid and otherwise, it amazes me that I am here now. Four years went by really quickly and most of the time I didn't feel like there was anything different about me. Time went by but I didn't change. Ha but then I think about how I dealt with things then, like for instance, dating, and not only do I feel completely ashamed of how I acted, but I also realize how differently I deal with things now. (haha maybe I intentially blocked those things from my mind) Now for instance, if I was on a date with someone and could just tell that things were going down hill, you have this sense that things just aren't going your way. Say you even asked, many times, if things were going your way and the reply was no....then now I would stop trying to make it like a date and just salvage any sort of dignity from the night at all. Then....I might have made my date want to cry from frustration and pity by not accepting the fact that some dates just don't work out. I have also learned that not all people are compatible and I can accept that fact much more graciously. I do though still have my moments of pure embarressment when I like someone....but again, only a few people know about them and I love keeping it that way. I guess my main thought here was just how differently I view the world in just four years. I've seen a lot pain and I've seen a lot of joy (haha unintentional quotation of Michael Franti), and the things that were important when I was 18....almost have no bearing now. And the things I took for granted, like my family and the times we spend together and my friends and how amazing they are. That's all so much more important then whether one date went well.

I have heard before that the four years between 18 and 22 you grow more than any other four years in your life. Maybe not intellectually or physically, because lets face it the years from 0 to 4 are pretty amazing, I have 3 little kids I love to watch grow and it's way more fascinating than any other time. But, I think emotionally that is definitely true. You really figure out who you are. And I have just turned into an Oprah show, so I'm going to be done here...